Today I am desperate…

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; APART FROM ME, YOU CAN DO NOTHING." John 15:5

For my children to know… August 24, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — erinmelby @ 9:41 am

This morning, I’m overcome with this desire to be sure that my children understand and have assurance of some things as they become adult. The idea of them becoming adults seems impossible at this season of life, but if the years keep passing by as quickly as they do, that time will be upon us before I know it.

At their current ages; Alissa-6, Anna-7 and Andrew-9, there are certain truths that I am certain they are exposed to daily. The most important ones being; from whom their security and salvation comes- Christ, Where they will be for eternity- Heaven. Other important things that I know they are learning are things like responsibility and that money isn’t free, you have to work for it.

But this morning, I wonder if they will become adults and know how hard we’ve tried to give them the very best. I mean sure, in theory, we all believe that our parents did everything they could for us as children, but a part of me wants them to know that when they are mom’s and dad’s and they are agonizing over things like being a room mom or working full time, staying put or moving for a job…these are things that we went through too.

Will they finally see that the reason that we delayed vacations year after year wasn’t because we didn’t want to go, it was so that I could be here with them? And by making that choice, our budget is tighter and we have to say no? Will our society be more unkind to them as parents than it is to us as parents? Nothing is free, many things are unaffordable to a single income family and saying “no” makes parents feel that their child will somehow be less than those that say “yes”.

That is my rant. There’s truth there but I also know that there are alternatives and life isn’t so bad. I really do! We’ve employed these alternatives and our hope is that our children understand that sometimes the alternative is better. Purchasing a summer pool pass at the school’s silent auction instead of paying full price (something our close friends did), for example or creating an ice cream sundae bar at home instead of going out for ice cream where you have to pay by the ounce (something we still love to do occasionally).

As an adult looking back on growing up, I don’t ever remember going without. We didn’t. But I sometimes wish my parents had journaled along the way, so that I could have some insight on what they went through to create this environment. It’s true that by definition, we certainly didn’t go without. I am fully aware that children in other societies do go without, truly, but in our social arena, it’s hard to say “no” to our children when everyone else is saying “yes”.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is that I want to write so that my children can have access to our hearts and minds. Their comprehension of our adult minds is unnecessary and frankly, inappropriate for them as children. But when they become adults, who better to look back at and say, “how did you do this?” than us, their very flesh and blood. This is for my children! Life can be hard, but you are strong, capable individuals. You can do this!

 

Peace August 20, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — erinmelby @ 9:51 am

**Disclaimer** Keeping up with two blogs is harder than you think! This one, it seems, is reserved for things that have a particularly deep impact but are not exactly related to fitness or weight loss.

Last night our 9 year old son came into our bedroom around 9:30pm. The kids had been tucked in for at least an hour because it was a school night. He had already called me into his room once because he was hearing strange noises. I assured him that it was because both the dishwasher and the clothes dryer were running. His bedroom sits just off of the kitchen area so he often hears those things when there is no other extraneous noise. Despite my assurance, he said to me in a quivery voice, “mom, I’m just having thoughts that make me feel unsafe.”

Irrational fears are something that we’ve dealt with since our boy was old enough to talk so this statement was neither surprising or new. We’ve talked at length with him about the power of prayer and I am certain he calls upon it regularly. We’ve read about and discussed how to handle his fears without making him feel that they are not real or important. Because the truth is that they are real to him and they are important to us. But with that said, they can be very frustrating to deal with. The easiest way to describe what I think is going on is that his little mind is capable of thinking about things that his life experience cannot back up or support. Therefore, he is not able to rationalize why, for example, strange noises do not automatically mean something bad is going to happen. Another example is as a 3 year old when our family was shopping at an IKEA store, he could not see the exit door while we were in the warehouse level of the store. All he thought was that we were stuck there forever. He could not rationalize that just cause he couldn’t see the ending to this dilemma, didn’t mean that there wasn’t a solution. We have worked through many many of these “little” things over the past 9 years (though not so much the first year. LOL)!

As he entered our room, the tears just flowed. He said, “Mom, am I going to heaven?”

WHOA! His question caught me completely off guard. Our son entered into his saving relationship with Christ at a particularly young age – 6. He was more ready and understood more truth than many adults do when they make their salvation decision. Interestingly, he understood the deeper truths about salvation, but could it be that we forgot to remind him about his eternal security in Heaven? I’m hoping that it was just a matter of needing reassurance amidst is fears.

As we sat together on our bed; me, Andrew and Eric, the Spirit laid it on my heart that perhaps He (the Holy Spirit) is strong and beautifully alive inside our son and therefore, the enemy is especially threatened by him. And as the enemy so craftily does, he grabs ahold of those vulnerable moments where he knows he can trip Andrew up and cause him to fear and doubt the very basics of his salvation. When I explained this to Andrew, it seemed to resonate with him and as Eric and I held him and prayed over him, he became immediately peaceful.

This is the scripture that Eric prayed over him last night.

My son…Keep sound wisdom and discretion, so that they will be life to your soul and adornment to your neck. The you will walk in your way and your foot will not stumble. When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down your sleep will be sweet. Do not be afraid of sudden fear Nor the onslaught of the wicked when it comes; for the Lord will be your confidence…”an Proverbs 3:21-26

 

 
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