Today I am desperate…

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; APART FROM ME, YOU CAN DO NOTHING." John 15:5

Peace August 20, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — erinmelby @ 9:51 am

**Disclaimer** Keeping up with two blogs is harder than you think! This one, it seems, is reserved for things that have a particularly deep impact but are not exactly related to fitness or weight loss.

Last night our 9 year old son came into our bedroom around 9:30pm. The kids had been tucked in for at least an hour because it was a school night. He had already called me into his room once because he was hearing strange noises. I assured him that it was because both the dishwasher and the clothes dryer were running. His bedroom sits just off of the kitchen area so he often hears those things when there is no other extraneous noise. Despite my assurance, he said to me in a quivery voice, “mom, I’m just having thoughts that make me feel unsafe.”

Irrational fears are something that we’ve dealt with since our boy was old enough to talk so this statement was neither surprising or new. We’ve talked at length with him about the power of prayer and I am certain he calls upon it regularly. We’ve read about and discussed how to handle his fears without making him feel that they are not real or important. Because the truth is that they are real to him and they are important to us. But with that said, they can be very frustrating to deal with. The easiest way to describe what I think is going on is that his little mind is capable of thinking about things that his life experience cannot back up or support. Therefore, he is not able to rationalize why, for example, strange noises do not automatically mean something bad is going to happen. Another example is as a 3 year old when our family was shopping at an IKEA store, he could not see the exit door while we were in the warehouse level of the store. All he thought was that we were stuck there forever. He could not rationalize that just cause he couldn’t see the ending to this dilemma, didn’t mean that there wasn’t a solution. We have worked through many many of these “little” things over the past 9 years (though not so much the first year. LOL)!

As he entered our room, the tears just flowed. He said, “Mom, am I going to heaven?”

WHOA! His question caught me completely off guard. Our son entered into his saving relationship with Christ at a particularly young age – 6. He was more ready and understood more truth than many adults do when they make their salvation decision. Interestingly, he understood the deeper truths about salvation, but could it be that we forgot to remind him about his eternal security in Heaven? I’m hoping that it was just a matter of needing reassurance amidst is fears.

As we sat together on our bed; me, Andrew and Eric, the Spirit laid it on my heart that perhaps He (the Holy Spirit) is strong and beautifully alive inside our son and therefore, the enemy is especially threatened by him. And as the enemy so craftily does, he grabs ahold of those vulnerable moments where he knows he can trip Andrew up and cause him to fear and doubt the very basics of his salvation. When I explained this to Andrew, it seemed to resonate with him and as Eric and I held him and prayed over him, he became immediately peaceful.

This is the scripture that Eric prayed over him last night.

My son…Keep sound wisdom and discretion, so that they will be life to your soul and adornment to your neck. The you will walk in your way and your foot will not stumble. When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down your sleep will be sweet. Do not be afraid of sudden fear Nor the onslaught of the wicked when it comes; for the Lord will be your confidence…”an Proverbs 3:21-26

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