Today I am desperate…

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; APART FROM ME, YOU CAN DO NOTHING." John 15:5

For my children to know… August 24, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — erinmelby @ 9:41 am

This morning, I’m overcome with this desire to be sure that my children understand and have assurance of some things as they become adult. The idea of them becoming adults seems impossible at this season of life, but if the years keep passing by as quickly as they do, that time will be upon us before I know it.

At their current ages; Alissa-6, Anna-7 and Andrew-9, there are certain truths that I am certain they are exposed to daily. The most important ones being; from whom their security and salvation comes- Christ, Where they will be for eternity- Heaven. Other important things that I know they are learning are things like responsibility and that money isn’t free, you have to work for it.

But this morning, I wonder if they will become adults and know how hard we’ve tried to give them the very best. I mean sure, in theory, we all believe that our parents did everything they could for us as children, but a part of me wants them to know that when they are mom’s and dad’s and they are agonizing over things like being a room mom or working full time, staying put or moving for a job…these are things that we went through too.

Will they finally see that the reason that we delayed vacations year after year wasn’t because we didn’t want to go, it was so that I could be here with them? And by making that choice, our budget is tighter and we have to say no? Will our society be more unkind to them as parents than it is to us as parents? Nothing is free, many things are unaffordable to a single income family and saying “no” makes parents feel that their child will somehow be less than those that say “yes”.

That is my rant. There’s truth there but I also know that there are alternatives and life isn’t so bad. I really do! We’ve employed these alternatives and our hope is that our children understand that sometimes the alternative is better. Purchasing a summer pool pass at the school’s silent auction instead of paying full price (something our close friends did), for example or creating an ice cream sundae bar at home instead of going out for ice cream where you have to pay by the ounce (something we still love to do occasionally).

As an adult looking back on growing up, I don’t ever remember going without. We didn’t. But I sometimes wish my parents had journaled along the way, so that I could have some insight on what they went through to create this environment. It’s true that by definition, we certainly didn’t go without. I am fully aware that children in other societies do go without, truly, but in our social arena, it’s hard to say “no” to our children when everyone else is saying “yes”.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is that I want to write so that my children can have access to our hearts and minds. Their comprehension of our adult minds is unnecessary and frankly, inappropriate for them as children. But when they become adults, who better to look back at and say, “how did you do this?” than us, their very flesh and blood. This is for my children! Life can be hard, but you are strong, capable individuals. You can do this!

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